So, I'm a smoker of 20 years. I've tried to quit a few times, taken Chantix before, even gone to a hypnotherpist. But in the end, still smoke.
I smoke knowing its bad for me like most smokers, Knowing it's too expensive like most smokers, and to the disapproval of my kids, my fiance and myself for that matter..
So, I decided to start taking Chantix again, I'll be 40 yrs old next year and that seems like a tipping point for me. I really need to quit.
I've been taking Chantix for about 10 days now. My fiance know I'm tkaing it, but no-one else does. I'm writing this because I'm restless. I'm still smoking although I don't really have the desire anymore.
From taking it last time I remember that at some point I just won't give a hit anymore and not feel the desire to smoke.
People at my work have commented that my mood is different. One guy said Monday I was a total asshole. I wasn't getting angry or anything, maybe just disinterested.
I can't describe how I feel right now. Smoking isn't filling that gap that it's filled for the last 20 years anymore. I feel restless, mind you even though I am still smoking! Smoking a cigarette now just doesn't seem to do anything for me. I'm sure at this point I'm still smoking out of habit that the physical need / want to smoke. I want to smoke right now, in fact I'm going to go have a cigarette...
So, I smoked... I fell a little better, but not really..
People are really pissing me off inside, every little thing I hate about others is getting to me.
I've got 2 cigarettes left in my pack. I feel like I'll buy another pack. maybe next week I'll quit, or at least try to go a whole day without one.
More later...
